Armin van Buuren: His hard way to real happiness

Amsterdam. Armin van Buuren had everything he needed to be happy: success, family, friends - but it was a hard road until he found his inner balance to be truly happy.

Armin van Buuren has been one of the biggest stars in the electronic music scene for over 25 years. The Dutchman impresses as a DJ, producer and host of his weekly radio show „A State of Trance“, which reaches 40 million listeners in more than 84 countries every week. The 47-year-old is considered as the „King of Trance“ - he also proves his musical versatility with successful productions between EDM and Pop. The editorial team met Armin van Buuren in Amsterdam in the office of „Armada Music“, the world‘s largest independent dance music label, which was founded by him together with Maykel Piron and David Lewis.

In an exclusive interview, he talks about his European Championship song with the Dutch national team and why saying „no“ to Parookaville in 2023 was one of the most difficult decisions in his life. Armin van Buuren also speaks openly about a difficult phase in his life when he was so unhappy that he almost stopped DJing and how he managed to turn things around and find his inner balance also through meditation.

Are good footballers also good singers?

Armin van Buuren: “I guess some could be, but I don’t think you could link that to their ability to play football. That said, I was actually really impressed by how well the players of the Dutch national team sang. And it does help that so many of them contributed; after all, when you’re in a stadium singing along with the entire crowd, it always sounds good.“

Would you have thought that you would ever produce a song with the Dutch national team for the European Championship?

Armin van Buuren: “No!” (laughs) “To be fair, we didn’t know — or expect — we’d be working with the players until they showed up in the studio. Nobody can obligate the players to participate, so I’m super proud that they were so excited to be part of the song.”

Are you a big football fan?

Armin van Buuren: “To be honest… I’m not a huge football fan. I guess it’s because I’m away from home so often I can’t commit to regularly watching matches. I try to keep tabs on the national competition sometimes, but it rarely goes beyond checking the current standings. When the national team plays though, something special happens that pulls me straight in. And my son plays football too, so I often go to his games to support him.”

What does your nine-year-old son say about you now working with the national team?

Armin van Buuren: “He hasn’t said much about it yet. He is like many children of that age. When we’re on holiday, I never know if they’re really having a good time. But when they meet their grandparents afterwards, they tell them how great it was. It’s only then that I find out what their highlights were. Maybe he’s super excited about it when he’s talking to others, but I haven’t heard much about it yet.”

How was the collaboration with the indie pop band Chef’Special for ‘Larger Than Life’?

Armin van Buuren: “It was incredible! You could say it was somewhat unusual for us to work together because our sounds are so different, but this was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up on and was actually really excited about. They’re such a talented bunch and the fact that the players of the Dutch national team joined in made it even more special. They are also great guys, and their last album was really good!“

Why did you do it anyway?

Armin van Buuren: “If something generally “can’t” be done, I feel challenged to do it anyway – like my track ‘Heading Up High’ with Kensington in 2015. I just get extra motivated and want to convince people that it can work. Chef’Special live in Haarlem, which is close to my hometown Leiden, so we sat down in the studio, had a cup of coffee and started. The greatest reward of this song was creating it; the success is important, but it‘s not as important as just having fun writing and producing it. Whether it’s music or food or art, if you’re having fun creating something, that energy will course through the entire project. And you can hear that energy in ‘Larger Than Life’.”

The fact that the whole team contributed was a spontaneous idea – and then you couldn’t be there, when it was recorded – how annoyed were you about that?

Armin van Buuren: “I wasn’t happy about it, but this was the only way we could make it work. I was booked for Tomorrowland Winter on Alpe d’Huez and the players were only available that day. I was there in spirit and via facetime though. The track without the players’ vocals actually didn’t sound as good as it does with them. They really added something to the song.”

You said your dream is that the Netherlands will reach the final, win the cup and then sing the chorus with you and Chef’Special in the stadium…. – would you be there if the Netherlands made it to the final?

Armin van Buuren: “Absolutely - 100 percent!”

A few days after the final of the European Championship the German festival Parookaville takes place in Weeze, where you are one of the headliner – would you wear the jersey of the new European Champions?

Armin van Buuren: “That depends on the winner and who they play in the final.” (laughs) “If it’s Germany against Holland in the final, it might be a little provocative. I’m proud to be Dutch and proud of my country, so I support my team. But it’s all fun and games… not too serious. I’m not such a football freak that I would wear a jersey.”

The title of the song is ‘Larger Than Life’ - were there moments in your life when you would say that about yourself?

Armin van Buuren: “No… no…, I don’t feel larger than anyone or anything. All I know is that I’m extremely fortunate to be sitting here talking to you about this great career that already lasted 25 years. I’ve experienced so many beautiful things. Today was another highlight. You’d think making radio would become tedious or uneventful after a long time, but well over a thousand episodes in, I’m still having a lot of fun! I feel grateful doing this as my job, having fun in the studio, creating stuff and making a good living out of it.”

In the process of creating ‘Larger Than Life’, someone had the idea that it could give the team energy, if it becomes a part of it - how important is the personal touch in a song?

Armin van Buuren: “It’s super important – especially to this song. I think the process of making the song with Chef’Special and the Dutch team shows that if you connect with other talented people and leave your boundaries and egos at the door, you’re able to create something that becomes bigger than you. Take the Dutch football team for instance. Normally, they are individual players playing in different teams; Frenkie de Jong plays for Barcelona, Virgil van Dijk for Liverpool etc. But in the tournament, they play as one team to become larger than life. That is the message of the song. It also applies to other areas of life; in a team you can create something that is bigger than you as an individual.”

You gave your last albums very personal titles - they say a lot about what was on your mind at the time „Balance, Feel Again, Breathe In“.

Armin van Buuren: “They are very personal, because to write music, I have to express myself. My biggest inspiration is often my own life.”

How are you today?

Armin van Buuren: “Thanks for asking! I’m actually really, really well and feel balanced. It wasn’t always like that. For many years, my mind was constantly racing and disconnected from my body. The connection between body and brain is super difficult to achieve.”

So how did you do it?

Armin van Buuren: “I started meditating to create a conscious connection between what I think and what I feel in my body. Your body tells you if you are working too much and if you are happy or sad. So meditating and listening to my breath allowed me to turn my focus inward and find my balance.”

Was there a time when you thought about ending your career as a DJ?

Armin van Buuren: “Right before covid, I was not feeling so well. I was doing too many shows and I was always working; even on my days off, I was in the studio. I felt disconnected from myself and my family, so I really needed to work on myself. I often felt depressed, I was down and I was drinking a lot. I never used drugs, but I think the alcohol had started to become a bit of a problem for me.”

What conclusions have you drawn from this?

Armin van Buuren: “I quit drinking completely, began working with a coach and started going to therapy. I asked myself why I was working so hard and why it was so important for me to get the external recognition. I wanted to be happy not while doing gigs, but rather at home, just being myself.”

How did you find out that something was missing in your life?

Armin van Buuren: “I think it was during a bus tour in 2020 — the gigs were great and I had a fantastic time when I was doing the shows. But that was only two or three hours a day. I slept for eight hours and spent another in the gym, so that left twelve hours still to kill every day. I was unhappy being away from my family, often sitting alone in my hotel room. I really had to start working on myself to become happy again.”

How do you evaluate that time from today’s perspective?

Armin van Buuren: “Actually, looking back now, I’m not sad that it happened but grateful. It gave me the tools to work on myself and my own happiness. I came to understand that there is more in life than success, a lot of money and great gigs. For me, real happiness comes from being with my family and feeling good.”

Armin van Buuren Tomorrowland — Armin van Buuren is a regular member of the line-up at the Tomorrowland festival in Belgium. © Pressebild | Bart Heemskerk

An important step was to take a break every summer for a couple of weeks to spend time with your family - did that make you happier?

Armin van Buuren: “Yes, super happy! But it was a very difficult decision for me. I had to be really honest and ask myself: “who is Armin van Buuren?” And the answer was: Armin van Buuren is a people pleaser. For example, when people read interviews with me, I want them to think: „Oh Armin van Buuren… what a nice guy.” But in the process of pleasing others, I’m overstepping my boundaries.”

What do you mean by that?

Armin van Buuren: “I was always trying to be too nice to other people. If you say yes all the time, you don’t get enough rest and become tired. You lose the balance. So I had to learn to say no – no to a lot of good gigs, to a lot of money, to a lot of interviews, to meeting nice people and to a lot of great studio opportunities and important promotion activities such as visiting radio studios, even in Germany.”

How did you manage to turn things around?

Armin van Buuren: “For me, it came with routine: eating healthy, doing sports, meditating, no more drinking and watching my sleep. Whenever I can, I go to bed on a decent time like 10.30 or 11 p.m. I need my eight hours of sleep. This brings me balance. I actually spend less time in the studio than I used to, yet I feel more energized and more productive now.”

Lesen Sie mehr zum Festival Parookaville in Weeze

Last year you went on holiday in July and therefore you missed Parookaville…

Armin van Buuren: “Many people said, “how can you say no to Parookaville”. Trust me, it was one of the hardest decisions in my life. It’s a great festival and has always been one of my favorite events. The energy is amazing at Parookaville and I feel great when I’m there on stage. But I felt I’d been playing there too much. If I’m there every year, it’s not that special anymore. And I also wanted to be with my family.”

Many Germans were sad – but in most of the comments the Parookaville-fans showed understanding and respect for your decision.

Armin van Buuren: “Oh, that’s super sweet. It shows that the fans actually care. When you are an upcoming artist, then of course it’s important to play Parookaville every year. I’m lucky enough to be in a position where I can be very picky about which shows I play. But, I hate to disappoint my fans; it physically hurts. That was one thing I had to learn. It’s a challenge every year.”

Could you enjoy the holiday with your family?

Armin van Buuren: “Let me tell you a story. Last year, we went to Portugal for three-and-a-half weeks. We flew to the south of Portugal, and at the airport there, I met all of the DJs who were flying to festivals. When I arrived at my holiday destination, I felt scared at first; I opened my phone and saw all the messages from everybody touring. And then I let go; I switched off my phone and only used my wife’s phone. When there was an emergency, my management could reach my wife. I was really disconnected from the dance music world, and it was amazing. I focused on my family, barbecued, went to the pool and the beach with my kids, and read three large books.”

What was it like to return to the stage?

Armin van Buuren: “The first gig after that holiday was at the second weekend of Tomorrowland in Belgium. In the backstage area of the mainstage, I saw all the DJs with dark circles under their eyes. And I just came in there feeling super rested and refreshed, tanned with blond hair. I think my set at Tomorrowland was great too, so even my music benefits from my time off.”

Lesen Sie mehr zum berühmten Festival Tomorrowland

There was a time when you had anxiety attacks right before going on stage and during your performance. How do you handle with this today?

Armin van Buuren: “I tell myself, “what is the worst thing that can happen?” The worst that has ever happened to me was at the Airbeat One festival a few years ago when the power went out. But no one got injured; the people only had to wait about ten minutes before the show could continue. The pressure the people put on me is only in my head. Now I’m meditating with my eyes open, just connecting to my breath – that can be so powerful, because it connects your monkey mind, which is always talking to you, to your body.”

That was an important step for you…

Armin van Buuren: “This is so essential. Why do people get burnouts or depressions? Because they ignore or have trouble translating what their body is telling them. If you’re feeling pain in your chest or have trouble sleeping, that’s your body indicating that you’re not looking after yourself. You can only be a good artist, a good lover, a good husband and a good friend if you are balanced. You can only share love when you love yourself enough. This is something I learned the hard way. Meditation is a tool to connect with your feelings. I had to learn to cry again. I cry often now, because the emotion I feel is just super powerful.”

In one of the most emotional moments on your last solo concert show “This Is Me” in Amsterdam you sat down at the piano. Years ago you told me that you are learning piano und now you played on a big stage. Were you very tense?

Armin van Buuren: “I was a little nervous, but my piano teacher Geronimo was sitting next to me. It was strange for me: on a good day, in a familiar and no-pressure environment, I could play with my eyes closed. But when I step on stage, 50 percent of what I know disappears. I really have to focus on the notes again. I don’t know why – I guess this is anxiety. Your body kind of blocks your brain. So I guess I have to do this more often. But trust me, you don’t want to see me doing a piano album live on stage.” (laughs)

What does your radio show “A State of Trance” mean to you?

Armin van Buuren: “It means the world to me. Some may think it’s “just a radio show’, but it has given me so much more than that. From day one, it’s has been the purest form of expression for my love for dance music, enabling me to share it with the world and connect with all of these fantastic, like-minded people in the process. Of course, playing tracks on the show is a great way to test new music before I play them elsewhere. But that’s not why I do it.“

There is one factor in the show that is unpredictable, when someone you don‘t know gets to speak: Why is this part “Service for Dreamers”, where a guest requests and introduces a track, so important to you?

Armin van Buuren: “I wanted to play a classic track every week. The idea with “Service For Dreamers” was to invite someone to the studio and have them share a story that tells us why this track means so much to this person. For me, this part is important, because it shows the great part music can play in someone’s life. There are hundreds of thousands of people who listen to the show every week, but I seldom see them react to the music in person. Service For Dreamers changed that. Now, there’s someone new in the studio every week to share a touching story about a moment when the music truly mattered. And that is something I’m eternally grateful for.”

I spoke to the German DJ Topic a few days ago. He told me that he would have loved to produce a song with you and that the process was already very advanced, but in the end, it didn‘t work…

Armin van Buuren: “I love him, he’s a great guy. I hope to work with him in the future. I’m definitely open to that. But sometimes it’s just purely business. There was a term of the deal we couldn’t agree on. I hope he can understand that as well. I get many offers for doing collaborations with other DJs, but I have to say no to most of them. It’s nothing personal; I already have a packed schedule right up till the end of the year. Big releases are coming, with Hardwell and W&W for instance. And who knows… maybe one day, I will make a track with Topic.”

Let‘s still have a look at the coming months - is there anything musically that you are looking forward to? A collaboration or a festival?

Armin van Buuren: “I’m really excited for my back-to-back set with David Guetta in Ibiza.”

Will your version of ‘Keep The Faith’ with Jon Bon Jovi, which you played at Ultra Music Festival in Miami, be released?

Armin van Buuren: “I would love to release that track. Unfortunately, we do not have the rights to the original, so it’s in the label’s hands right now. We are definitely looking to make something happen with that track though; many fans have been asking me to release that version.“